Gratitude

Gratitude. Once and a while I need to stop and get things back into perspective. I admire people who can stay in balance with home and work with little effort. I haven’t met any of them yet, but I have heard they do exist.

Where does the feeling of gratitude start? Does it begin with the feeling of being overwhelmed at work and internalizing it? But then you come home and realize that there is another life and another role to play. Greeted by people that need and depend on you. Honest people, that don’t have ulterior motives or if they do, they are easy to recognize. You want to help them, they need you.

Does gratitude start by seeing that there is no need to define yourself or tag your self-worth by your job title, your job performance or the other narrowly (8-5) defined categories that others measure you by? The key is that this is where others define you. If you accept their assessment, then you are impede the ability to feel gratitude.

I have a great job but I have a greater family. I am thankful for the opportunities at work, but I am more thankful for the opportunity to teach my children to be good, honest and ethical people. That opportunity is a challenge every day that faces me at the breakfast table and at the dinner table. It comes front and center in teaching my oldest how to drive a car and my youngest about telling the truth about what happen to their homework assignment..

It comes to me in the quiet of the morning on a Saturday. When the kids are sleeping in and my wife is reading a favorite book. Its knowing that I worked hard this week at the office, had a few bad breaks, made a few errors of judgment and probably will sound very wish-washy about a decision my manager is looking to me for direction on. Those are items I have no control over right now. In this quiet moment, with the sun in the window and the music in the background – this is it. This is where it starts to sink in: gratitude.

My 16 yr old & WOW

Here is one thing that has started to keep me up at night. (These days, almost anything does...) Maybe it has kept you up at night too.

World Of Warcraft (WOW): I am beginning to think that it robs the ambition from our kids. It gives them the wrong ideas about life. As you may already know, the game is about going on missions, gathering wealth or material things, and moving up into advanced levels of the game.

My son can navigate the keyboard and keystroke shortcuts with such ease, his hands literally float across the keys. In the game, he is a naturally leader. Other WOWers follow him. The missions are relatively short and the action is quick. The graphics are amazing. The advatar these kids come up with are definitely original. So what is the problem?

The game feeds the instant gratification desires that my son seems to have. The missions don’t last long and the rewards are relatively high in relation to the effort. He talks about these adventure as if they were great accomplishments. The struggles and tribulations that occurred over the last hour. It is not life, it is fantasy.

The game allows you to dump everything and start over, with out consequences. If you don’t like your world you can erase it and start again. Is that one reason why marriages are crumbling? Is that why bankruptcies are increasing? It is life, it is not fantasy.

I see it sucking the longer term ambition out of him. Ask him about college plans, taking guitar lessons, or watching the football game with me? No thanks, not interested, no confrontations – just no desire. Just the game.

Both my wife and I were outdoor kids. We caught frogs, bees, climbed trees, and had rope swings. We have those things here in our world today. We see them outside our windows. I can walk across my road and can drop a fishing line in the water - you want to join me? Nah, too boring, too mundane, too slimy.

The other morning, he came up to breakfast and announced he was not going to play football next fall. It is the only team sport he plays. He has played two years on the varsity team and this year broke through to start on special teams. He is still growing and needs to fill out some more, but he does have talent and he can tackle. Coaches want him to lift weights and bulk-up during the off season.

I asked him why he was going to quit.

The practices were too hard and they games were anti-climatic. He did not get enough playing time for the work he put in to practicing.

Is there a correlation there?

Management Essentials 101

So below is an excerpt of an email I sent to a person that just started reporting to me (again). He has a new role now and it is a highly visible one. He use to be able to work under the radar and enjoyed some level of anonymity. His project is behind schedule and his stakeholders are not in the loop on the status. They are getting their information through the grapevine and he is not managing the situation. Here are some talking points I gave him to get his wheels back on the road and his focus on the prize. You might also find this information useful too. Here it is:

There are a couple of things to consider when attempting to communicate effectively with your manager or stakeholders:

1.) Use an objective communication style - don't tell a story. Be concise and to the point. Respect their time. Ask them at the start how they want to be updated. They need to tell you. Don't assume...

2.) If you use email, bullet point your concepts if you are incorporating more that one in the message. Don't intermingle or weave them together.

3.) Recall what the last communication/status you gave them on this issue. Then (very) briefly recount that for the reader. Don't assume it is as fresh in their mind as it is in yours..) When describing your future actions, always, ALWAYS, include dates.

4.) Dates: be up front if you miss one. Don't be ambiguous on timing or promised dates of completion. Be straight-up and specific. Be clear on what is due and when.

5.) If you don't know the answer to a question, don't say "I don't know" and let that stand. Don't stutter or pause, or freeze. Just say "I don't know, but I will find out the answer and will be back to you by .....". Then write that down on you paper. Follow-up later with the original question and the answer.

6.) Make eye contact with your team and your manager. When you don't it looks like you are expressing no-confidence or that you are not sure of the status.

7.) Be prepared for the meeting - send an agenda ahead of time and stick to it.

Basically it is about being in control of the situation and communicating that control to me or anyone else you report to. It is showing the drive to solve the problems and anticipate the issues coming on the horizon, and sharing with your manager what they may be and how you intend to manage the project through them. (Proactive approach).

Always be the first one to tell your manager bad news or potential issues. No one else but you should be ahead of you in line to tell them the "bad news".

It's about sharing bad news and addressing the weakness or bad breaks that happened in the last week. It's about asking for assistance or advice in a tangible and specific way to fix them.

Communication is the key.

Really Getting Started

My objective in writing a blog is to document my experiences in the interactive space, marketing, sales, technology, people management, change management and everything in between.

I have made plenty of mistakes in my professional life, fewer in my personal life. But don't think I have all the answers. I have only a few and even those are hard earned.

I still make mistakes, hire poorly, get too myopic, and worry too much about unimportant things.
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So that is it for now.

Stay tuned.